Isaac Hunter~Hope Stolen~Faith Denied~Yet the Light Will Still Shine

 On Tuesday, December 10 , Isaac Hunter, 

the son of my church's pastor, Joel Hunter, took his own life.  

I, along with anyone who knew the family was stunned........

wanting to deny it was true, 

and crying at the thought of the pain 

this act must have on his entire family, 

and those who loved and admired him.  

I did not personally know Isaac, 

but he was the age of my daughters, 

so in the sense that I have children that age,

it was shocking to think of losing a child in this way.........

in the sense that I so deeply 

admire and respect Isaac's parents, 

it was devastating to think what they must be going through.  

A searing pain beyond imagination.

Through the week I've read various posts about his suicide....

about the impact of Isaac on other's lives, 

and have a growing regard for who he was at one time,

 and a growing sadness for what destroyed his life.  

I imagined him to be a highly sensitive man.......

one who listened with intent, who cared deeply, 

and truly wanted to change people's lives through the word of God. 

 His father, Joel, is that sort of man.

Then it dawned on me, that when you are such a man of God.....

when you care so deeply..........

when you are so sensitive to the hurts and needs of others.......

              there must be a growing festering of wounds that you 

absorb for all who come to you 

for your Godly wisdom.  

I imagine them to be like Jesus

 as he walked the earth........

                 everyone clamoring for just a moment........

    just one miracle........

         just one word of absolution for their sins.........

           and each one becoming a weight that grows 

heavier and heavier with each encounter.

In a note allegedly written not long after his resignation from the church, according to court documents, 

he expressed his hopes that he'd be remembered 

"as a person who loved his children, his parents, 

his brothers, and his best friends — 

well, while I could."

"I fear I will love them better in my absence. 

As I have become what I never wished to be, 

a burden on those I love the most.".

For some who knew him there is sorrow.......
Isaac was the shining star we hoped our
children  would be-and yet the light flickered out--
how can it be?

For some anger........
Isaac was a man of faith, 
and yet it eluded him-how can it be? 

For some perhaps denial.......
Isaac was a man of conviction-and yet,
he lost what we all assumed he had mastered-
how can it be? 

All normal reactions to the death of a person

you cared deeply for or thought you knew......

but, let us not forget that Isaac carried

a unique burden we did not see.......

He carried the weight

of everyone who admired him, 

who came to him for guidance,

who came to him for encouragement.  

How much can one person

absorb from the world before becoming engulfed 

in the pain and grief of others.......

how much can one person shoulder without the

assistance of others while the world watches?

I can not begin to know what darkness engulfed
his thinking......
Yes, he could have asked for help.......

yes, he should have asked for help........

but he didn't, and whatever his reasons were,

they impacted his decisions the culminated in

taking his own life.  I do not mean to minimize

his adultery, or other actions that devastated 

his marriage and ultimately his position in

the very church he started.......

I merely suggest that perhaps......

just perhaps the burden he carried 

was far greater than any knew......

perhaps the toll of the weight he carried

led him to the day his life was ended.

I have no answers.......I only know that the pain

and grief that brought him to his final decision will

forever color the lives of all who knew him.    I choose to 

believe that from Isaac's darkness a light will shine that

will someday prevent the same thing from happening to

another young life......that perhaps those of us
who clamor for consolation from men and women
of God will develop a deeper empathy for them and
the unique burdens they carry.....
we are all,after all, brothers and sisters, 
and commanded
to bear the burdens of one another......

And, in the aftermath, I will pray for Joel and Becky........

that in the midst of their unspeakable pain they

will find comfort.......

that in the midst of the

confusion and questions, 

they will truly feel

the presence of God surrounding them......

that they will one day be able to rest knowing

they will be reunited with their son Isaac, in Heaven....